a valiant attempt
but a pilot should show a little more, this was a pitch, the idea, not full realized in an episode. Also, you can't cover up a lack of voice acting with a song. I suggest you get a mic or look into the voice acting section of this site.
Also, and this is a personal thing. The whole "video games= ma life" shtick is very played out. You're going to need to bring a little more to the table if you want to stand out and grow.
good luck